Ok. So things have been developing. Elliot is going to start a new school in a couple of weeks. This should eliminate the need for OT twice a week and maybe altogether. He won't be going to his morning preschool past December, so we'll have our mornings back. I have missed our little outings. This feels right. And it will sure be nice not to have that OT bill every month....Man! We're on plain rice and peanut butter sandwiches practically. In our family book of quotes is this: "I should be a professional something. They make a lot of money." I said this during one of my moments of insecurity when I think things like, "Things are all wrong. I need to figure out what to do with my life. I'm not doing anything." But things seem to be working themselves out now. So I'm resting easier. And, I can do a proper pigeon pose on both sides--ok, so there's no such thing as a proper pose because it's all an individual thing, but I have been trying so hard to reach behind my back and grab my other hand while bending my back leg up---this sounds incredibly pointless when I write it this way---, BUT I can finally do it. Oh, the proud pigeon.
I read a few chapters of the book, 'Knowing Yourself' or 'To Know Yourself'...something like that....by Sri Swami Satchidinanda, where he talked about happiness as the motivation for everything. Evil things, good things....all things come from people searching for happiness. But the great thing is that happiness already exists presently, and when we start looking out around our happiness for something that might make us happier, we become unhappy. I have a quote on our wall from a Taoist monk...."Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize that there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you." I suppose I hung this quote on our wall to remind myself of something I would like to believe in. I may be getting closer to being able to live this way. My boys teach me this. They're so happy if they get to go out for a walk, or we have their favorite food for breakfast. They don't know to want more, because they're happy now.
I saw my first real live owl on Friday. I am so excited by this. It was huge and beautiful, sitting on a tree looking right at me (although Amory says that it was looking right at him). I think it was a Northern Hawk Owl because it was perched on a low, exposed branch along the bike path near our house, during the day. It must have been at least a foot high if not more. It turned its head toward a sharp noise on the other side of the woods, but other than that it sat perfectly still, staring straight at us. I would have missed it had it not been for a couple who were stopped, looking at it, who told me what they were looking at. I hope to see it again some time. Next to cheetahs, owls are probably one of my favorite animals. Now I feel like I'm channeling some Dwight Shrute from the Office, so I'll stop now before people start making fun of me.
Good night.
Om.
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