So, this Desperate Housewife has a funny story to tell. I was busy cooking dinner. As most people who would be reading this know, our kitchen is in the back of the house and the view from there is the woods. As I was looking out there today, I saw one of the neighborhood boys (he's 14 or so) hiking through the woods carrying a white plastic shopping bag, and in the bag was something shaped like a coffee can. Let me point out, he's a tall, chubby kid, and he was wearing a bright, sky blue polo shirt...he didn't even try to camouflage himself. So anyway, he's skulking around out there, finds a spot and starts digging with a stick. He was out there for about 15 minutes. While I was watching him, my husband, who had just gotten home from work and had come into the kitchen for a snack, looks out the other window and says, 'Hey look. There are three deer out there.' So I turn from watching the kid, to look from the other vantage point, and sure enough, there are a few or several deer out in the general vicinity of our neighbor, who hadn't started digging by that point, rather was still looking for just the right spot for his 'project'. At first, I thought, oh isn't that sweet of our young neighbor, he's probably studying the local fauna for a school project. Maybe he's brought them some food, or he's collecting scat, or he has his binoculars in that bag or a camera or something. He really is a nice kid and capable of that, or so I thought.
After he had been poking around the ground for a while, and then started what appeared to be raking, and the deer ran away, the whole scene changed. It became clear that he was not interested in the fauna, rather the flora. And not the flora that actually grows in the woods of the park, but rather the kind you find under lamps in the basements of very sneaky people. Apparently the young man felt that the ecosystem of the Park had been lacking this diverse plant. Perhaps he was planning to make himself some hemp clothing.
Is anyone wondering how I know what he planted? I couldn't stand it. My curiosity was eating me alive. Because not only was he in the woods (which you can still see through because the underbrush hasn't grown in yet)..no one just walks through those woods. For one thing, there are paths everywhere. The other thing that was curious was that he spent a lot of time poking and digging and moving earth around. And then he left, came back in to deposit the white shopping bag, left again and proceeded to walk in the direction of the parking lot, where a few of the neighborhood teenagers like to stroll. So I'd been watching him for a solid 15 minutes, the spaghetti was cooking, the sauce was bubbling. Picture Terry Hatcher trying to make dinner for all of the family while spying on her neighbors. All I could think about was following him out there, and seeing what he had been doing. Since my husband was there, he had offered to go out and look, but I told him not to--secretly because I wanted to be the one. So after we ate, I headed out into the woods.
I've never been in these woods, mainly for the ticks, but also for the underbrush and pricker bushes. But out I went. I just couldn't stand it anymore. I had to know. So I walked out, half expecting to get caught, in search of the spot where I thought the young man had been digging. My mind was racing. Was I going to find a deceased pet gerbil? Yuck! Was I going to find a bad report card? Was I going to find a wad of money? Some stolen credit cards? By the way, people throw all kinds of crap out there in the woods. I found black landscaper's tubing, what looked to be a large chicken wire trap of some sort, some soda cans....and two, very out of place, very green, very freshly-planted marijuana plants. The ground all around had been disturbed (I knew that from all the Mission Impossible, Indiana Jones, and Bourne movies I watch...Always look for the disturbed earth!!) So I didn't know what else to do but to uproot it, wrap it in the bag (I can't believe he left the bag in the woods! Litterer!!) and make a run for it. So here is this thirty-something, action movie-holic, stay at home mom, scampering through the forest like some kind of raccoon who just stole some eggs.
I live to tell the tale. Now, I have to figure out what to do. Do we rat the kid out? And to whom? I don't know his mom. Calling the cops doesn't seem right. Is he hurting anyone? Who knows. Probably just himself. What is my responsibility here? I think I would want to know if it were my kid, so I think we'll tell his mom somehow. But I don't want him throwing rocks through my window or anything, so I think we'll do it anonymously. So I'll probably go out late tonight and put a note on her car or something. Another mission!!
The funny thing is, that I was kidding my husband not too long ago (about 10% seriously), that we should think about planting some pot in the woods to raise money for our deck fiasco, but that the only trouble would be where to get a hold of a few seedlings. I think age, wisdom and the ability to peer into the future at the consequences of my actions accounted for the other 90%. Which goes to show that we do get smarter as we get older. Thank goodness for that. At least there's something! :)
The other question is, what do we do with the pot we now have in our house? We've gotten busted for an unpermitted deck (a purely honest mistake). We can't afford to get arrested for possession. Part of me wants to plant it, because it really is a pretty plant and it's just dying up there in our cabinet. I think we'll give it back though. At least to the kid's mom. Let her deal with it.
